Whether it’s business related or relationship related don’t let yourself down.
We all experienced in lifetime that ugly feeling where somebody that is close to you or not even related to you put you down emotionally. And at the very last brain cell you don’t ever think about it as 3rd person whether that emotion has negative or positive impact on you.
I had boss few years back that put me down all the time but what kept my engine running for 4-5 years? You can say that I loved my job that much or I couldn’t afford to lose my job.
Well it was mix of three things
- I really loved my job
- I couldn’t afford to lose my job
- I looked at it from 3rd person prospective at all time
Being a 3rd person while arguing, debating or just listening is not easy, it takes practice and sometimes being that 3rd person is not OK because you forget who you are what your heart wants, what your brain wants to say or do.
Reason I am writing about emotion today of “Putting Yourself Down” is because I could feel that way just through email from person I never met, I never saw or speak before.
I am one of those “bloggers” that get’s stuff from various companies to review products and on my list I put “Samsung” , I had Samsung products sent to me before but mostly from third party contractors. So I contacted the PR’s or whatever department few days ago with pitch that I have Great blog, with lots of pageviews and diversity of audience. Thinking like I am the shit!
Well the response I got back from PR person made me feel like shit, so I thought….
“Thank you for this information. Unfortunately, at this time we cannot accommodate your request.”
bla bla bla
…products are distributed based on past working relationships…
…e.g., audience demographic, circulation, viewership, site traffic, etc…
As you might noticed ‘they’ mentioned viewership, site traffic. So blog that I own with over 400.000 pageviews is not enough, basically what the message translates to.
If you look at it as “you” or in this case “me” I would be like “Oh ok…sorry, I guess I don’t deserve it”
But looking at it from 3rd person things change,…..
My positive reaction was this:
- Don’t let yourself down just because Samsung Pr does not think you are worth having their products.
- If I do good job as I do already. In 2 years they might ask me to review Samsung products and I will get a chance to say:… Sorry here is what I got from your PR just 2 years ago.
That is how I boost my ego and not let my brain think about stuff that are so emotionally involved especially things like the example above.
But what if you are in fight, arguing or debate with your loved ones? You can’t put that brain-ego boost can’t you?
I think it all comes or picking the right time and rationalizing things…maybe you are wrong or did something stupid….but can you make it positive state of mind (energy)? Sure you can…
Let’s say your husband or wife told you to pick up something on the way home…I don’t know: Buy eggs… So he/she can make pancakes in the morning.
You come home, leave your keys on the desk and next thing you see is your loved one: Sooooo, where are my eggs?
How are you going to make that emotionally positive? Not just for you but both of you.
I mean, you know it’s your fault because you said OK “I will get the eggs” but at the same time that person is in such expectation that they don’t want to hear excuses..
Well there are few things you can do…
Bitch Person: Why didn’t you get it, where was your head?
Bitch Slave Person: Ok babe, Ill get it , ill be back in few seconds!
Bitch Excuse Liar Person: Oh, you know I totally forgot about it, there was an accident and it totally distracted me…
Would you say that any of the responses to your listener is correct? Can you see your self saying that, I bet you do…
Well as 3rd person looking at the situation and not being put down I think best response would be…
Professional Bitch: I forgot to get it because I was distracted by many things that happened to me today. Since you are making those eggs tomorrow lets go together and buy eggs, I can also tell you what happened to me today…
In Pro B version In my opinion you make both happy. One person will get the eggs and another person gets the comfort and bonding connection with the person that wants the eggs.
Does this make any sense to you? Because if it doesn’t you might go back and read what I said: “Being a 3rd person while arguing, debating or just listening is not easy, it takes practice”
But seriously now, don’t let yourself down intentionally…think about things from the different angle see if you can make it positive in any way and even if you can’t …try to comfort yourself with positive things.
By the way, there is really no 3rd person :) it’s all you… (No shit, Joe)